Monthly Archives: September 2021

Telling your Family you’re Vegan – Foil Arms and Hog


Dinner is nearly ready Darren be about 5 minutes pet. Yeah, remember I’m vegan now Mom. Yes I Know you don’t eat meat. Yeah. Yes we’re having fish.

I can’t have fish. What about salmon? No fish. Oh for God’s sake. What’s wrong?

Darren’s a vegetarian. Vegan. Oh so you can still have fish? Oh can you? I can’t.

What about mussles? No fish or meat at all. Well they are crustaceans so there might be a loophole. That’s true..

. Plants! I can only have plants.

Well you can stay the hell away from my Begonias A fortune in the garden center they cost me. You know Darren in my day you ate whatever was put in front of you.

Yeah well meat is kinda bad for you. Bad for you? What are you…

I’ve had a fry every morning for the past 35 years and there’s… There’s nothing wrong with me. Well it’s better for the enviroment.

Less meat, means less methane given off by animals. Could have fooled me I was in your bedroom this morning I had to open a window Oh the fumes! Noxious so it was now…

Now who wants a cup of tea. I’d love one paddy. Do we have any non-dairy milk. Non-dairy milk do you hear him? Paddy we are to be supportive.

You’re right. We are to respect his decision. So go out and pick up one of those weird milks in the supermarket.

Right-o. Good man.

And some fillet steaks for tomorrows dinner. Fillet steak? We didn’t have fillet steak when I wasn’t vegan. Of course we did what nonsense. Anne?

Anne come down for your dinner. Where does that girl disappear to? So little bro I hear you are a vegan-a-saurus Rex now. Yeah Ben. No stranger to the old diets myself.

Really? Yeah, currently I’m on sauce diet. Oh ye there we go. No cheat days. No I wouldn’t imagine so.

So I hear you are a vegan Darren. Yeah, Granny. Well I think you are very brave. Oh thank you. You see had a friend who was attracted to women And she regrets not acting on it sooner So I completely understand.

.. It’s more of a food thing Granny Well she had a fierce sexual appetite. Right so, I’m back from the shops. I’ve got 5 different types of milk Darren so We’ve got semi-skimmed, low fat Slimline, organic and.

.. Chocolate. Yeah, they’re all dairy Dad. What?

? For God’s sake. Dad I want to be a Vegan like Darren. Ah Darren look what you are after starting? Sorry?

Anne you can’t be a Vegan until you are older Right now come on in here and eat your greens.

They’re disgusting. Anne. Darren you are after losing weight. No I haven’t.

You are all skin and bone. I’ve only been vegan 2 hours. You need to get more protien I’m going to go to the shops and get you some supplements alright. Good man yourself. Darren what are we going to do for the Christmas dinner?

I don’t know. Well the ham and turkey are out. Yeah. There is sausage in the stuffing. Yeah.

The roast potatoes are done in goose fat. And there is cheese in the cauliflower. Yeah. That just leaves..

. Brussels sprouts. Oh the Brussels sprouts thank God. Don’t worry you are going to love them I’ve done them in a beautiful butter and bacon sauce. Ah for fu.

.. Doomdah! Hi we’re Foil Arms and Hog Thanks for watching the video We have a new video every Thursday Please subscribe to the YouTube channel. That’s right.

That’s right that would be very helpful. Of course this time of year you are wondering what am I going to do for Christmas presents for all my friends and family.

And of course the obvious answer is that Well we are on tour in the UK and Ireland big tour and lots of tickets available And that’s a very easy present to buy Very easy present. It’s lazy But it doesn’t appear lazy It seems thoughtful Why you could buy some Merchandise That my beautiful husband here And my strapping young man And sure that looks great on you now Thanks Mom The quality of that. Takes a lot of weight of me makes me look a lot slimmer It does Dad yeah.

I’ve slimmed down a lot actually. There is also a USB available. With all of the live shows from the lads And I tell you I watched it the other night now with my husband and we laughed and we laughed and we laughed. Until we were sick On the floor Vomitted Everywhere I tried to contain it onto the rug. Well you started it you set me off.

He wet himself. Wouldn’t be the first time of course That’s a problem that’s gone on for too many years.

Don’t tell everyone. He was eight until he was out of nappies. And I kind of regret that.

I think it was early. I think it was the parenting actually. Do you now? Doomdah!.

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